Elevatoromachy
   
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i. She could remember each humiliation as though it had happened only moments ago.
1. Anne took an acting class as an elective in the spring.
2. The class was split into pairs; each pair performed four scenes during the semester.
3. Although the scenes they chose were mediocre at best, she felt in some way connected to the characters she played and enjoyed workin with her partner.
4. One afternoon after a rehearsal that had gone particularly well she was sitting on the edge of the stage wondering whether to change her major to acting when a sudden dramatic beam of light shone down from the rafters.
5. Although she knew it was probably someone in the control booth leaning against the light board, she allowed herself to be seduced by the coincidence and the next day made arrangements to transfer to the theater department.
6. The program required its students to audition each semester for department sponsored plays; since each student was required to audition, the faculty took the opportunity to evaluate their progress.
7. In rare cases of exceptionally poor performance students were contacted afterward and strongly advised to reconsider their choice of major.
8. Because all of the students and faculty were present, the auditions inevitably took on the atmosphere of a small festival and there was usually a banquet afterward.
9. Anne was exhilarated. She had previously performed only in front of the few people in her spring acting class; there would be nearly one hundred present at the fall auditions.
10. She searched exhaustively for a monologue which would be unfamiliar to anyone in the department.
11. She finally found what she at first thought was a play called "Weeds and Gardening". It was actually a book about weeds and gardening, and included information on pesticides and planting schedules.
12. Pressed between its pages, however, was an old tattered letter from a woman to her husband whom she was apparently leaving. The letter was unbearably cruel.
13. After reading what could only have been greatly exaggerated descriptions of the husband's "malformed hairpieces" and "bulbous feet", Anne knew that this was her monologue.
14. Within a single day she had modified and memorized the letter.
15. For weeks she rehearsed. She began to imagine that the husband was someone she had known and that she could recognize, for example, the stench of his fingernails as described in the letter.
16. Anne began to hate the husband. This pleased her; she felt ready to perform.
17. On the morning of the fall auditions she woke up early and ate a small breakfast.
18. She walked to the theater several hours ahead of schedule and began pacing the lobby with the other actors.
19. She saw her partner from the spring acting class and said hello. The partner admitted being nervous about having to sing, and was especially nervous about having to sing Gilbert and Sullivan.
20. Anne began to feel panic. She had been unaware of a singing requirement. She pretended to know what her old partner was talking about, then went into a stall in the bathroom and looked frantically through her notes. It was there, on the back of a page she had not turned over: one full minute of Gilbert and Sullivan.
21. Her own singing voice was perhaps the worst she had ever heard.
22. She considered throwing up.
23. After a moment she realized that among the pieces of paper which littered the bathroom floor were photocopies of sheet music. Although she couldn't read music, she decided that if she at least remembered the lyrics, she could improvise something on stage.
24. This would be her most humiliating moment.
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